is society obsessed with body size?

Welcome to Monday, and February! I hope everyone finds themselves well on this freezing cold day here in Florida. I am seriously starting to think I really don’t live in Florida.

So, what do you think, is society obsessed with body size? I say absolutely and if you watch the video below you will see that throughout history it always has been. However, what makes it different now is social media. 24 hours a day, seven days a week people can post their likes, dislikes, judge, give rude comments, project from their own flaws onto others, etc. A lot of what society has found body size attractive through the years has been based on men and their fantasies. Why would women care, especially after the Women’s Movement, what men think of how a woman should look? But, it is way beyond that now. Women are shaming women now, both for being too thin, and too fat. Why are women doing this to other women? Is there a shortage of viable partners that we have to cut each other down based on our opinions of what is attractive, beautiful or perceived health? The fact that we have all these hours in a day to bring people down, rather than raise them up, doesn’t say much for society and productiveness. But, I think it goes even farther than that. People do this in part because there is the potential to get attention and also to make money. Now people don’t have to look at it, obviously, but there is a kind of addictive behavior attached to social media it seems.

That brings me to a question posed to me on Pinterest. I get interesting messages both here and on Pinterest. Most of the time they are spam, or strange men looking for some kind of strange relationship that has nothing to do with Health Coaching. That is another good question to ask. Is any attention better than no attention? I don’t know I have to think about that one. So, I was asked why do I want to lose weight? I am still not sure exactly why they were asking as that was all the question was, in reference to my Lose Weight With Melissa subscription plan. Maybe they were going to refer me to some product they were pushing to sell I don’t know. First of all let me say that plan is meant to be encouragement to anyone struggling with weight loss, or who has CKD and wonders about losing weight. What works for me may not work for others, but it also might. It might give them the encouragement they need to begin a weight loss journey. It may help someone to see that one on one coaching may be a better fit for them as well, to lose weight. 1- I am not body insecure. Yes, I have some jiggly bits that I would like to see go away, and that is why I set exercise goals. 2- losing weight is so much more than body image. I choose to lose weight because actual studies with facts show that losing weight can improve my kidney function. Since a main goal of mine is to get back to stage 2, losing weight is a huge part of that objective. 3- Actual studies with facts show that anybody who is obese has an increased risk of chronic diseases in their future. BMI is not a perfect tool, nor is it meant to be the end all be all to measuring someone’s overall health. But, it is a tool, and a good tool. It is a frustrating tool as well, especially since most doctors do not even consider other tools in the shed to monitor overall health. I can understand that frustration that many people have. 4- I find most people don’t want to know truths and facts they want to feed their denials and fantasies instead. 5- Eating real food and changing our eating lifestyle is a major goal for me and my family. 6- I have no interest in people promoting Fad Diets, herbal pills, or other whacky weight loss gimmicks to me, or my readers. I work in facts and I know that real sustainable weight loss takes time and effort. It is a marathon not a sprint.

No one likes to be body shamed, told they are fat, or too thin. Neither do people like to feel they have to answer for every single decision they make in life. I suppose some people like that or they wouldn’t put their personal life out there for the whole world to see. Having a weight issue, whether too much or too little, is hard enough on the psyche as it is. Unless you are an expert on the topic, which most people are not, then you are just passing your opinions, beliefs and projections onto others, then you should probably just say nothing and worry about your own issues. We all have issues, by the way. whether you believe it or not. If you think you are free from flaws then that is an issue. On the flip side no one likes to be told they are ignorant, or stupid. None of these tactics work for most people. You have to approach these things with love, kindness and actual facts. Then you have to provide a way forward that will actually help. If you can’t offer that, or you only offer things that make money and don’t really work in the long run, then you are part of the problem not the solution.

We are all different that is what makes us all beautiful. Reach out a hand in loving support rather than pointing the finger of shame. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

There is so much more that goes into this very broad topic. Self image and self confidence are such a fragile part of humanity. Think how much more humane we could be if we just accepted each other as we are. Be Mindful and think before you speak about people.

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Mindful Monday: Mindfully Eat All That Easter Candy

Happy Monday!  I hope everyone had a blessed Easter, especially with all this social distancing.  I had to work at my nursing job, and of course, they gifted us all candy.  Plus, I bought some peanut butter eggs for my family to share.  Chocolate is high in phosphorus and potassium, not to mention fat.  It is irresistible and delicious.  But, are you really enjoying it, or just eating it to eat it?  Mindful eating will help you enjoy and appreciate food and may help you lose weight.  By eating less, and thoroughly enjoying it, in a slow and controlled manner, is a great skill to learn.

So, today’s Mindful Monday exercise is to only eat one item of chocolate candy or any candy.  Follow the steps below to mindfully enjoy that one piece of candy.

1-  Pick your piece.  This is a big decision so choose wisely.

2-  Smell the candy with the wrapper on.  Then slowly remove the candy and smell it again.  Note what it smells like.  Savor the smell, enjoying the aroma.    If the smell is unpleasant then you really shouldn’t eat it.

3-  Feel the candy with your hands.  Note what it feels like and enjoy the feeling of the candy.

4-  Look closely at the candy.  It should be appealing to your eyes.  If it is not don’t eat it, you probably really don’t want it.

5-  You can’t hear the candy, most likely, but you can notice how it sounds when unwrapping the candy.  Take note of the sounds, compare it to other familiar sounds.

6-  Finally the most important step, taste the candy.  Take a small bite, as long as it is not hard candy.  Notice how it tastes.  Roll it around on your tongue savoring all the delicious flavors.  Then take more small bites.  Don’t put the whole thing in your mouth, unless it is hard candy and can not be nibbled.  Thoroughly enjoy the piece of candy.

You may do this twice a day, once in the morning and once in the evening. See if you get different results each time.  Try enjoying your candy by candlelight, our outside in the fresh air, maybe in a bubble bath.   Do not do it if you are going to sleep.

Enjoy!

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Don’t forget you can still get my April freebie, my CKD Easter meal plan, which can be for any day of the week.  Just sign up for my newsletter using the contact form below.  I am working on the May and June freebies now, and I think they will be great.  May is for Mom’s and June will be for Dad’s.  You can sign up for my newsletter now and automatically get each freebie, each month.  Questions, email me at healthbuddymelissa@yahoo.com,  please be aware spammers will be turned in as spam.

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Moving Beyond Body Size Monday

This is my first post in a new series slated to help men and women move beyond body size to live a happier more fulfilled life, loving and accepting their body as it is.

I will explore these topics:

Can you be fat and healthy?

Can you be fat and fit?

What is BMI?

What are the alternatives to BMI?

What is sexy?

What is feminine?

Why do we let the diet and fitness industry control our thoughts through marketing?

How to love your body just the way it is.

How to accept yourself.

How to move past a number on a scale to achieve real weight loss goals and fitness goals.

Plus many more.  I am very excited about this topic.  If you want to empower yourself with one on one Holistic Health Coaching to help you move beyond body size to totally accept your body as it is, message me for a free meet and greet.  Use the contact form below to sign up for my weekly newsletter and get some awesome freebies, plus special offers.

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